April Fools Week
by TuRtLe88
Summary: Every year the Marauders have an April Fools week because just one day isn't enough. Pairings: James/Severus Remus/Sirius


_4/7/08- I had a little trouble with italics near the end. It's (hopefully) fixed now! Sorry for the confusion/trouble._

**A/N: Okay, so I had PLANNED to get a JPiND out for James' birthday but I missed it. Then, today, I was like 'Hey! It's April Fools Day! I'll combine the two and make the April Fools Week/James' Birthday spectacular!'. So, here we are. Like it said in the summary, the pairings are Sirius/Remus and James/Severus. April Fools Week is an idea I created a couple years ago in a fic I wrote for the Marauders. The basic idea of it is that they can't just have ONE DAY where they have an all-out prank war. No, they need a whole week. Thus, they invented April Fools Week. Also, just as a last little warning, this is unbetaed. I wanted to get it out TODAY and thus decided to forego letting my beta read it ahead of time.**

**Dedications:**** This one so totally goes out to FINALS WEEK (I love the end of the quarter. No homework and nothing to do in class as I don't study like EVER) and the Huphz and AP for just being cool. Um, James cuz I missed his birthday and my grandma because today's her birthday (she's pretty serious for a woman whose birthday is April Fools Day). And, most importantly, to Conscience (yes, she gets a DOUBLE dedication) because she gave me the idea for the sexuality switch potion and Remus acting Gangsta. Yeah, she's pretty much the most rocking person EVER.**

_**DISCLAIMER**__**: Right, do you think if I owned Harry and the gang that a) Ravenclaws would be allowed to roam free b) Remus and Tonks would have EVER in a MILLION YEARS got together c) Snape's allegiance to the good side would have been proven by his 'love' for Lily Evans-Potter? No, none of that would have happened. The Ravenclaws would be trapped in their tower for all eternity to suffer numerous tortures, Tonks would have gotten with Charlie or Bill or something (just leave the werewolf to his puppy; Tonks is a cool chick… just not with Remus) and Snape's allegiance would have been proven by memories of him and James… all over each other. Thus, I can safely say that I DO NOT own Harry Potter and any of that other junk that goes along with it.**_

"Happy Birthday, James!" his friends cried to wake him up. He groaned, knowing full-well it was way too early to be awake.

"Hate you," he mumbled as he woke. He was smiling though. "Presents. Now." He wasn't exactly a morning person, though he made an exception for his birthday.

"We didn't get you anything this year." Sirius smiled at him. Well, it was more of an impish grin.

"Do you feel _old_?" Peter asked wide-eyed. James rolled his eyes.

"You ask that at every birthday, Wormtail." James smirked. "Didn't your mum chase you with a frying pan on her last birthday?" Peter blushed at the memory. He still had a lump on his head from when his mother had finally caught up with him.

"Here, James," Remus handed the messy haired and bespectacled boy a small, neatly wrapped box.

"Okay, I might've gotten you a little something," Sirius tossed a fairly large, terribly wrapped box at his best friend. "We were having a competition about who could get you the best gift so I couldn't let Moony wrap it for me."

"Here," Wormtail handed him a small box. "I was part of the competition too so I had Lily wrap it for me."

"Well Sirius is too stupid to think of that," James said with a grin. Then, he wripped the wrapping paper off Peter's gift. "Sweets!" he exclaimed loudly. "Thanks Wormtail! 12 points!"

"You're giving us points?" he squeaked.

"Yep," James smirked. He then viciously tore the paper off Remus' immaculately wrapped gift. "Prank stuff!" James cried as he dumped a few dungbombs, superglue and various Zonko's products onto his lap. "18 points!"

"I lost," Peter muttered dejectedly.

"Sorry Wormtail," James replied, "but Moony will steal all the chocolate you gave me and Padfoot will eat all the rest." James shrugged. He'd been living with the same three boys four five and a half years. He knew they'd take his sweets just like he'd take theirs.

"Well open my present," Sirius was bouncing. James had found that Sirius liked giving presents just as much as he liked receiving them.

"You'd think it was his birthday," James shot his friend a teasing smile. He carefully removed the tape and made sure not to rip the paper.

"Think he's making a statement?" Remus grinned at Sirius.

"That I'm his favorite? For sure," Sirius smiled widely.

"Be careful, Padfoot, your ego is showing," Remus taunted. Sirius stuck his tongue out at the werewolf.

James had finished removing the copious amounts of paper and was looking through the box's contents. "Large prank items, plastic forks, embarrassing things to be seen in and a camera!" As he went through the list he got increasingly louder. "Sirius gets 422 points!"

"Told you I'd win, Moony." Sirius wore a mischievous grin. "My kiss?" Remus sighed and gave the taller (if only by a few inches) boy a quick peck on the lips.

"That can hardly be considered a kiss, Moony," James teased as the werewolf grew red in the face. "What would the others have got if they won?" James was curious about the competition.

"Chocolate and various other sweets," Sirius replied. "My prize was better." Remus' face flushed even more at this.

"Well lads, you know what this means," James remarked, a grins spreading mischievously on his face.

"APRIL FOOLS WEEK!" They all shouted together.

"And since Evans quit after the Coloring Catastrophe last year I've gone to the trouble of finding us a new impartial judge," James declared triumphantly.

"Who?" Peter looked excited.

"Sev," he replied with finality.

"So he's letting you call him that now?" Sirius' smirk widened.

"Are you sure he's going to be properly impartial?" Remus asked skeptically.

"Same teams as always?" James asked, ignoring them both. Knowing that James could ignore what he didn't want to see better than one would imagine, Sirius and Remus both forgot their questions as well.

"I've no qualms with that," Remus replied.

"I concur with Moony and would like to add that he's going down!" Sirius shouted triumphantly.

"No one wants to hear about your sex life, Padfoot," James teased. Sirius leapt to tackle him but was held back by Remus.

"I do hope you two don't kill each other this week," Remus remarked. The two in question slung arms around each others' shoulders and grinned.

"Yes Mum," they chorused.

"Come Padfoot, we must plan." James steered Sirius towards the door.

"And eat. We must eat or we shan't have the energy to plan." Sirius replied as they went out the door.

"Would you like breakfast, Peter?" Remus asked. Peter nodded enthusiastically.

"Where are the other two members of your band of ne'er-do-wells?" Snape asked, falling into step with the overly-dramatic duo.

"It's April Fools Week, Snape," Sirius replied. "We cannot loung about with our adversaries!" Sirius shot his free arm (they still had arms slung over shoulders) triumphantly in the air.

"We must plot!" James added.

"And plan!"

"And eat!"

"Happy Birthday, James," Severus replied, rolling his eyes and walking away.

"He didn't even let me thank him!" James cried. "Now where did I put my birthday pin? Everyone should know that today is the day that _the_ James Potter is SEVENTEEN!"

"I'll make you a new one. You never know what Moony has done in his spare time." Sirius looked conspicuously around.

"He has been spending a lot of time with the sneakiest person I know," James replied. He was intentionally inflating Sirius' over-large ego.

"Evans?" Sirius joked. Both knew Lily couldn't be sneaky if her life depended on it. Plus, she was a redhead and that never helped sneaking any.

"No, silly!" James cried, playing along. "Only my best friend in the whole world!"

"Oh! That guy! Heah, he's pretty cool. I hear they're going out. Moony's boyfriend is _so dreamy_." Sirius fluttered his eyelashes like his image of a flirtatious girl.

"Didn't know you swung that way, Black," Lily popped up in front of them.

"You do realize that he _is_ Remus' boyfriend, right Evans?" James asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Remus would have told me," she scoffed.

"Ask him about it. I'm sure he'll tell you I'm a great kisser," Sirius proclaimed proudly.

"Were you _following_ us, Evans?" James asked, raising an eyebrow again. "Come to tell me you'll go out with me?"

"I figured the two of you were on a date," Lily smirked at him. The two burst out in laughter.

"She thought she would shock us!" James gasped out.

"Thought it would shut us up, right and proper!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Thought she was being inventive!" By this time, the two were leaning on each other for support.

"When you're quite finished laughing at me," Lily c5rossed her arms and scowled at the two boys.

"Thanks for the laugh, Evans," Sirius said once they'd calmed down.

"So why were you stalking us?" James said, getting down to business.

"You're up early and remember what this week means from last year. It's April Fools Week." She continued scowling at the mischievous youths in front of her. "You were also being nice to Snape."

"Thought you two stopped hanging out last year," Sirius remarked. "Why do you care?"

"You two hate him," she accused. "I've never once seen thte two of you act even remotely civilly towards him."

"Things are not always as they seem," James replied.

"Never judge a book by its cover," Sirius added.

"All's well that ends well."

"We've got plenty more clichés, Evans. Don't think we'll restrict ourselves to ones that make sense." Sirius wore a cold smirk.

"Now stop stalking us. It's supposed to be the other way around," James added with a note of finality.

The two headed off to breakfast. When they got there, the Great Hall was nearly empty. Sirius led James their usual spot and there was a plate with smiley face pancakes and balloons that said 'Happy Brithday James!' and 'Happy 17th, Prongsie!'.

"I assume you were in charge of balloons," James remarked to Sirius.

"Who else has the balls to call you Prnogsie?" he asked with his trademark impish grin.

"No one, _Snuffles_." James mirrored his friend's grin.

James ate his meal enthusiastically and Sirius told animated tales with a perpetually full mouth and waving his fork around for emphasis. Eventually, Peter and Remus sat down across from them, having an in-depth conversation about the previous day's Potions lecture.

Then, the mail came. James got no less than 7 owls. His favorite present came from a nondescript school owl. It was a small vial of potion. The note attached said _'For Pranks_' and '_Use Wisely_' in a cramped scrawl he knew quite well.

James pulled a piece of parchment and a Never-Out quill out of his robes pocket and scribbled a quick note. '_What does it do?_' his squished writing read, '_I can't plan a prank without knowing what it is._' He gave the note to the owl and sent it to Snape before mail was over and before he decided to write something sappy.

After mail finished coming, James and Sirius left the Great Hall and were headed to the library for a plotting session before class. Lily followed them yet again.

"Go back to back to breakfast, Evans," Sirius said. Neither he nor James turned around. The clattering footsteps grew slightly quieter. "Evans, it would take a stampede to drown out your loud footsteps. I told you to quit following us." Sirius sighed.

"Where are you two going?" she asked suspiciously, drawing level with the two.

"Library," they replied in unison.

You two hate the library," she pointed out.

"What, no Happy Birthday? This is the second time you've neglected to wish me one," James remarked pretending to be hurt.

"Yeah but it's the last place Moony and Wormtail will look to find us plotting," Sirius informed her. It looked as if they'd both forgotten the birthday boy for a moment. "And before you ask, no, you cannot join the Dream Team. That would make for uneven numbers." Lily 'humph'd' and walked away angrily.

Lunch arrived and passed without so much as a prank from the four Marauders. Peter and Remus were making multitudes of intricate diagrams. Sirius and James, who could pull of just about anything without trying, were writing a lengthy list of ideas.

During Transfiguration, a note silently flitted to the back of the classroom and landed in front of James. He and Sirius had had their heads studiously bent over their list as they'd perfectly transfigured their lab rats into lizards in the first five minutes of work time.

James picked up the note and opened it up. '_Meet me in the Room of Requirement tonight after dinner. I'll explain your present there_' was all it said. James showed it to Sirius who nodded and they went back to their prank planning. James, inconspicuously, was casting charms at Professor McGonagall under his desk. As soon as they finished, the professor seemingly disappeared. In her place was a tabby cat. James had reverted her to her animagus form. She meowed loudly and indignantly as the whole class burst out laughing.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black," she said when she'd righted herself. "I assume this was your doing."

"Professor McGonagall, it's my birthday. Do you really think I would do something to land me a detention on such a splendiferous day?" James gave McGonagall a look that said 'Come on now. Do be serious.'

"You've gotten away with it for today, Potter," she warned. "But Merlin forbid you pull something like this in my class again."

"I'm truly afraid of the consequences, Professor." And he was. It was seldom that the Marauders pulled a prank in Transfiguration. Not only was it their favorite class but Professor McGonagall also scared the shit out of them.

After Transfiguration, they had Charms. Remus had cast a charm on Flitwick so that his voice was even squeakier than usual… and then he put a _Sonorous_ charm on him. Everyone came out of that class clutching their ears.

James wolfed down his dinner, excited for his meeting in the Room of Requirement with Severus. Sirius informed him, multiple times, that Severus was going to eat his dinner at the same pace no matter how quickly James ate and that maybe he should slow down before he choked. James just laughed at this.

Of course, James was held back slightly due to the fact that his friends had convinced the House Elves to bake him a cake and send it up with dessert. All of Gryffindor Table (and some of the other tables as well) was singing 'Happy Birthday' to him. He was flattered and embarrassed and completely happy.

By the time James finally made it to the Room of Requirement, Severus was waiting for him.

"They wouldn't let me get away!" James whined after he shut the door and collapsed on the couch where Severus was sitting, his head falling in the other boy's lap.

"I didn't mind waiting," Severus replied, running his hands through James' messy hair.

"So," James sat up suddenly, "What was that potion for?"

"Ah, well, it reverses a person's sexuality and adds a little estrogen or testosterone to make the switch a bit more obvious," Severus replied simply.

"So if used on Moony and Wormtail, Moony would be chatting the girls up like there's no tomorrow and Wormy'd be drooling over any guy he could get his hands on?" James' grin grew.

"I hoped you'd like it," Severus replied quietly.

"Like it? It's perfect!" James exclaimed before kissing Severus on the mouth. The kiss lasted a few minutes before they broke apart, momentarily. They were now practically horizontal, Severus atop James, their foreheads resting together lightly.

"Happy Birthday James," Severus said softly.

"Thank you," he replied, just as softly. "You didn't let me say that this morning." James pecked Severus' lips before letting him continue the conversation.

"Well I knew Lily was following us," he pointed out.

"I don't see why I have friends with dog-like senses if they don't make use of them," James growled slightly.

"You can hear just as well with your form, James." Severus was full of good points tonight.

"Mmm, but Sirius also has an excellent nose." James captured Severus' lips again and they lapsed into silence while they kissed.

"If Lupin is the enemy, what _is_ Black doing with his free time?" Snape asked once they pulled apart.

"He's probably called a momentary truce for the sake of swapping spit," James replied with a smile. "Padfoot is fickle like that."

"I can't believe McGonagall bought your excuse this afternoon," Severus mused.

"She had no actual proof that we'd done anything," James replied easily. "We're super sneaky. Stealthy even. That's why we're Marauders." Severus chose not to respond before kissing James again.

"So, what does it do?" Sirius asked when James came back (looking obviously like he'd been kissing. Sirius didn't look to different).

"It flips a person's sexuality," James replied, sliding into a chair at the table in the library where Sirius was sitting. "Adds some hormones to make the switch obvious."

"Nice," Sirius replied. "So, are we going to use it right away?"

"I think we'll use it at lunch tomorrow. I've got something brilliant planned for breakfast." James shot Sirius a grin which was instantly returned.

James was trying to cast charms on Peter and Remus while they weren't looking but Remus seemed to sense (His wolfy senses were tingling! As Sirius would say) that something wasn't quite right.

"James, why are your hands under the table?" Remus asked politely. It was almost pleasant… save for the hard edge to his voice.

"You caught me," James replied putting his hands up. "I was trying to rig the Gryffindor table to float tonight at dinner. Alas, it's not working." As James distracted the werewolf and rat animagus, Sirius quickly finished the charms on the two other Marauders.

"Well, homey," Remus started but quickly covered his mouth, knowing something was wrong.

"Reeeeeemus, what's wrong?" Peter sang. The singing had garnered attention from those around then.

"Dude, that's just not chill," Remus scowled at the two. "Why din't I trust my instincts when they told me James was a lyin' scumbag?"

"Did my Moony just grow an accent," Sirius said with huge, teary puppy eyes.

"Yeah, I did. Got a problem wit that, foo?" Remus shot Sirius a look.

"Merlin, it's so sexy!" Sirius shouted loudly. Then, the whole school was watching the Gryffindor table.

"I'm outta here. Just remember, dawg, Karma's a bitch." With one last look, Remus dragged Peter (who was serenading a pretty Ravenclaw) out of the Great Hall.

"We should do that to Snape," Sirius said, a bright smile on his face.

"What, for old times' sake?" James asked sarcastically.

"No, because I know you want him to have a sexy accent like my Moony," Sirius replied. The grin was still on his face.

"Sirius, you're deranged," James replied with a straight face.

"Mutha Fu--" Remus was cut off by a rather violent 'SHOOSH' from Madame Pince. He'd been swearing up and down the library for the past seven minutes. "I'm gonna pop a cap in they asses," Remus informed Peter.

"Remus, I don't know what that MEEANS!" Peter sang.

"Then, I'm gonna beat them so hard they mamas feel it." Remus was now pacing.

"Mr. Lupin, I ask you yet again _not to swear in my library_!" Madame Pince was so scary she could shout in a whisper and still instill fear into the hearts of youth.

"Remus, I may have figured it out!" Peter hit a rather high note. Remus was rather impressed with his skill.

"You got mad skillz, Wormtail my man. Now, how do we fix this?" Remus watched as the often neglected Marauder took a deep breath and prepared to tell them his revelation.

"I think it's a dictation spell!" Peter went lower for this part. "It probably is similar to the ones we learned last month! I don't remember the counter!" Madame Pince, for her part, had yet to hush the singing boy. It wasn't his fault that he had to sing everything he wanted to say. It also wasn't his fault that he was a rather dramatic singer.

"I do, man. I got this," Remus smirked. He then preformed the counter-charm perfectly. "Did I fix it? Shit!" That earned the normally quiet, bookish boy a slap upside the head from Madame Pince. "Time release," was all he said.

"You two are gonna have hell to pay," Remus whispered violently to James and Sirius as they sat down for Potions.

"Why would you say something like that, darling Moony?" Sirius asked. "Did you cast one of your super powerful Cheering Charms on me?" He asked with a knowing smile.

"You put us on time release," Peter tried to sing quietly. It ended up being rather loud, however.

"It's a prank," James remarked. "You're lucky we didn't put Polyjuice in your pumpkin juice and make you girls." This was an allusion to the competition the year before when James and Sirius had been turned into two Slytherin girls. They were not happy.

"Heh, that was a good one," Remus remarked. "Fo sho."

"The hell does that mean?" James asked. "You put a downer charm on me, didn't you?" James scowled at them accusingly.

"I let my main man Pedro handle that one," Remus shrugged.

"Pedro?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"That would be me," Peter sung sheepishly.

"Thank Merlin he hasn't tried to rename us," James muttered to Sirius. Sirius nodded, looking wide-eyed and scared at Peter's renaming.

At lunch, just as Remus had been coaxed into becoming a rap star ('Fo shizzle! Anything for the shorties!') the charms on Peter and Remus were released.

"Thank Merlin," Remus breathed.

"I thought your accent was cute," Sirius pouted.

Just as James was about to pour his birthday gift from Severus into Remus' and Peter's goblets, Sirius held out a hand to stop him. "I think they suffered enough this morning."

"You just want a good snog tonight," James replied.

"Yeah. But you see how relieved Moony is to have nothing odd going on in him. We'll give it a few days." James nodded. They sat down, took a drink of pumpkin juice, and each promptly turned the color of a blueberry.

"You two are EVIL!" James cried as Peter cackled madly and Remus tried to stifle his laughter. "Come Padfoot, food can wait. We need a plan."

"You better hope this is a time-release, Moony, love! I'm making out with you this evening no matter what color I am," Sirius cried as he was dragged away by an angry Gryffindor Quidditch captain.

"We're doing something flashy," James insisted.

"Yes Prongsie!" Sirius cried happily. Both were still under the lingering effects of the earlier charms. James was slightly grumpy and Sirius was giggling like a schoolgirl.

"It won't be to them but I swear to Merlin the whole school's gotta see it." They came to their favorite hidden passageway. James pulled out the Marauders' Map, finally glad he and Sirius had possession of it. They used it the most, after all.

"Well, we could dazzle them with a light show." For someone high on a Cheering Charm, Sirius was thinking oddly clearly. James wondered, not for the first time, whether his friend was used to being stoned as a witch in colonial New England.

"I like the way you think," James muttered. The two planned away their entire free period.

The light show that night went off without a hitch. They colored all the flames of the candles in the Great Hall as they simultaneously made it dark. Then, they spelled out curse words with the candles. Then, they made constellations. And, in the middle of all this, their skin returned to normal.

The next morning, there was an all out food fight between the two factions and, eventually, the whole school. They got stuck cleaning the Great Hall during their free periods that day. Of course, there was more petty pranking. Nothing serious happened though. Everyone knew the second and last days of the prank war were always the worst.

By the time the last day had arrived, many beds had been forked, hair had been dyed and slippers had been chewed by an enthusiastic dog. Everyone was seething and on pins and needles. The Marauders couldn't sit without wincing at the slightest sound behind them. They were afraid, very afraid, of what was going to happen.

James and Sirius decided that the day had come for the potion. That would serve for the first half of the day. The second half would involve all the portraits mysteriously missing their occupants. And then, to top it off, at dinner, there would be a slideshow of the embarrassing pictures they'd taken all week with James' new camera. It was a foolproof day.

James and Sirius were the first at Gryffindor table. They quickly poured the potion into Remus' and Peter's goblets. Then, after doing that, the two sat and waited. Remus and Peter were the last ones to breakfast that morning. Of course, just before they showed up, James and Sirius had honey dumped all over them. After the honey came massive amounts of feathers and plastic sporks. They didn't stop grinning though. They knew Peter and Remus had another thing coming to them when they came to breakfast.

"This pumpkin juice tastes funny," Remus remarked. He kept his eyes on James and Sirius the whole time. They were grinning under all their honey but Remus didn't need to know that.

"You're right," Peter remarked. James had been informed that it would take about twenty minutes for the potion to kick in. That was just fine. They could wait. They'd wait all day if they had to.

It was a Sunday and so they had no classes. James and Sirius trudged up to Gryffindor tower for a shower after they finished eating a meager breakfast. When they made their way down to the common room, there was an extremely angry Remus waiting.

"You made me attracted to FEMALES," he accused angrily.

"That was the potion, love," Sirius remarked with a yawn. They were all running on low sleep. They spent their nights plotting and watching out for pranks. Peter was especially good at the slumber party tricks like making your companions wet the bed.

"It's messing with my head!" Remus cried before taking his head in his hands. He was sitting on the couch next to Sirius but he was conspicuously farther away than usual. "The thought that I'm dating you is repulsive to my brain WHICH YOU MADE STRAIGHT." Remus glared.

"It's not that bad, love. Girls are nice and squishy," Sirius yawned again. Remus growled in frustration and left the common room.

"Shall we follow?" James asked.

"Of course. I can't have any girls making moves on my boyfriend." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Just your boyfriend making moves on girls," James replied.

"Because I know he doesn't mean it," Sirius said. "It's the potion talking."

"Padfoot!" Peter cried. "I think I might be gay," he whispered once he met up with James and Sirius cried.

"That would be the potion we slipped in your pumpkin juice this morning." James looked at the shortest of the four Marauders apathetically.

"You're taking it better than Moony. I don't think he likes being straight," Sirius said the last part as a conspiratorial whisper.

"OI! Pettigrew!" A blond haired, blue eyed, male Hufflepuff who looked like he could snap all four Marauders in half at once, came up to them.

"Wh-what is it?" Peter stammered like he was talking to a girl. Of course, it was a similar experience, his sexuality being flipped and all.

"Were you _flirting_ with me? You went out with my little sister last year." The Hufflepuff glowered menacingly.

"But you have such a nice arse!" Peter cried.

"Snape was right about the hormone additions," Sirius remarked.

"You're surprised?" James raised an eyebrow.

"Not particularly. It's just a nice touch." Sirius shrugged.

"What are you two muttering about? How you'd like to get in my pants after Pettigrew?" the Hufflepuff growled.

"Woah, woah, back off. I have a boyfriend. You'll have to wait your turn for a go with the Great and Awesome Sirius Black." Sirius acted as if he believed every word he said. Of course, knowing Sirius' ego, James was sure it was true.

"I'm also taken," James replied easily. "In fact, of my close friends, Wormtail is the only one that's available."

"I'M NOT GAY!" the guy shouted.

"Neither is he," Sirius pointed at Peter. "He's under the influence of a very odd potion. Now if you don't mind, I'm off to find my boyfriend. Ta darlings." And Sirius flounced off.

"Homophobes are lame," James replied and followed his best friend.

"I should go too," Peter squeaked. "I wouldn't want the potion to have me do something I'll regret." Peter sprinted out of there as fast as he could.

"You're pretty," Remus said. He was all googly eyed at some girl.

"You're friends with Sirius Black, right? My friend Jessica said he's the absolute best kisser. I've always wanted to find out if that's true." The girl batted her eye lashes. She was tall, blonde and had a nice form.

"He is," Remus replied unthinkingly. "But I don't swing that way anymore."

"Really? You're kinda cute," she remarked.

"NO TOUCHING MY BOYFRIEND!" Sirius shouted as he entered the hallway at a sprint. "MINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE!" he shouted and hugged Remus close. "Get your own."

"Sirius! The potion's still in effect!" James called. "He's going to be repulsed by your being possessive." James came upon the group. "Sorry-- er, what's your name again?"

"Liza," she replied.

"He's not himself. Remus, that is. Sirius, I'm sure, would always nearly have a heart attack if someone, man or woman, flirted with _his_ Remus." James gave her a sheepish smile.

"How long did your boyfriend say this stupid stuff would last?" Sirius said, keeping a firm grip on a struggling Remus.

"A couple hours," James shrugged. "Of course, we didn't put much in their pumpkin juice. They should be good in a few minutes."

"Sirius, did you know that your hair shines in just the right way to make it dazzling?" Peter asked. He looked smitten as a kitten. "And James, your glasses really accent your face."

"Is he on that potion stuff too?" Liza asked.

"Yep," Sirius replied. "Now Moony, I know you like to bite but honestly, now is not the time or place." Remus growled.

"Let GO of me, Sirius!" the werewolf continued to struggle.

"Nope, not until you kiss me," Sirius replied childishly.

"I'll kiss you, Sirius," Peter said. He was still obviously entranced by James and Sirius.

"No you won't, Peter," James replied, holding him back by the collar. They stood there like that, the only sound being made by Remus' struggling.

Finally, about five minutes later, the struggling slowed. "Moony, you okay?" Sirius asked concernedly.

"Perfect," Remus replied. "Thank you for not letting me make a fool of myself." There was a small smile on his face. Then, he slapped Sirius though lightly. "That's for making me straight for an hour. It was pure torture."

"Mmm," Sirius said, pulling Remus close. "Promise I won't do it again. It was pure torture watching you chat up a bird."

"James," Peter said in his dreamy voice.

"What Peter?" James asked, figuring it hadn't worn off him yet.

"She's pretty," he drooled. Not literally, thank goodness.

"It's quiet in the hall," Liza remarked.

"All the portraits have been vacated," Sirius replied.

"They're being fumegated," James added with a grin.

"It was right eerie walking down here," one girl said to another. The Marauders smiled to each other. The truce had been called early this year and Remus and Peter had even helped set up the projection stuff for the slideshow James and Sirius had created. Of course, Remus and Sirius didn't do a lot of work. They were too busy making out and other such nonsense.

"I haven't seen a single person in the portraits all afternoon," the second girl agreed with her companion.

After everyone sat down, the proper dimming charms were cast as the projection screen was lowered. Everyone laughed as they watched various ridiculous pictures. There was one of Dumbledore picking his nose. One had McGonagall smiling at Mrs. Norris. Everyone found at least one of the pictures funny, even the Slytherins. The Marauders decided that this was their most successful April Fools Week ever.


End file.
